“I ‘ate this fuckin’ room.”

Five minutes later, “I ‘ate this fuckin’ room.”

I sit next to the bed. Again. I sit and I stare at the unconscious form. Her long purple hair lies tangled about her sleeping form. Of course, its not entirely purple any more, and I guess its a sleeping form now. Its obvious that she moves, occasionally, so I guess technically, according to Whitley, its not a coma? I don’t know. I’ve never been here when she moves, so its hard to say. I have no idea whether she can hear me, whether she wants to hear me. I climb into the bed, and prop her body against mine, and try to brush out her hair. Slowly, methodically. Its a really awkward exercise when the person is unconscious. At least I assume it is worse than if the person is awake and cooperating. I’ve never brushed someone’s hair for them so I guess I don’t really know.

“I suppose it’s better, righ’? I mean, if I’d known, yo’ know, about Olivia, if I’d never volunteered, then the world woul’ have ended righ’? I mean, maybe none of us woul’ have ever been part of Eyes Open, then Anubis conquers the world?”

“Righ’ now, I just don’t care, at least if I coul’ have had those thirteen years back. Selfish, right? Condemn the world so I can spend time raising my daughter.”

A deep sigh….then silence.

An hour later, “I hate this fuckin’ room.”

“Seventy-nine days. That’s how many days I’ve sat in a hospital room or clinic or medical bay waitin’ after a fuckin’ witch attacked yo’. Forty-six the first time at Dr. George’s, thirty-three so far this time since those Argentine fuckin’ bitches took yo’. Just to get at Whitley.. Don’t know why, its not like yo’ tw ev’n like each other. Not ev’n sure how they woul’ve known to look for you there since English’s minions took me too.”

Sigh…..

“Shit, Whitley and Henri both say I’m supposed to talk about good things, positive things instead I guess.”

“I’m not very good at that though.”

“I must have been once, though, right?”

“One hundred eighty-nine days. That’s how many days I sat in this room talkin’ to Bryce.”

“Shit, that’s not any better.”

Silence lingers…….and he tightens his embrace on her, moving downward in the bed so that he lays flat on this back, and her head lies cushioned on his shoulder, almost like they used to sleep in their room.

“I, uh, I…..when you wake up we need to talk I guess. I’ve been spendin’ time with Olivia….and, well, ‘melia…….I want to know more about her…..Olivia, I mean. Obviously, well, shit….Anyway, ‘melia helped me with some of my memories…..and…..well, I mean, not any after, well, christ. If I can’t even tell you shit when you can’t hear me, this is going to be just great when you wake up. Never thought I was a coward, but maybe I’ve always run from anythin’ that was truly difficult. The funny thing is how would I even know?”

“Comparatively, getting shot and blown up seems a lot less painful. That’s just muscle and bone, especially now. Who knows, maybe these scars and memories from before are just as fuckin’ fake. I hate that I can’t trust my own mind, my own memories.

“I don’t know how to build a relationship,” another deep sigh, “fuck, that’s sounds so clinical. I don’t know how to get my own damn daughter to love me without makin’ sure her fuckin’ mother doesn’t hate me. God damn this is complicated.”

“Sorry, I guess you don’t need to worry about this while you are healin’. If you can even hear me. Who the fuck knows with whatever magic shit they have done to your mind.”

“We’re goin’ back to Argentina in a couple hours. By defeatin’ them when we rescued you, at least sort of rescued you, Whitley is in charge. So she has to go through a ritual of promotion, I guess. Of course, its not that simple, some of ’em want to get rid of Whitley, so she need’s her family with her. Guess that means us.”

“I’ve a really bad feelin’ about this trip, baby. Is it all magic? I don’t know what happened after they took us out, but there was some sort of magical attack on Olivia at the church, well, a bunch o’ kids.”

“I’m afraid….I don’t know why. I feel…..I feel like I’m cursed I guess. I can only get something good in one piece of my life by sacrificin’ another piece.”

I lay there for another hour before its time to get ready for the flight.

“Remind me to tell you when I get back about Bryce’s stupidity with Olivia. I’m not sure I’ll be able to forgive him. I never thought he’d betray me like that.  There’s so much to tell you and there’s so much I don’t know I think. I’ve been…..confused.”

“I know I haven’t done this before, but…..well, you were always with us, so I guess I didn’t think it mattered. But…..well, like I said, I got a bad feelin’. So, I, uh, left a video, well, a couple actually. One for you and one for Olivia. I don’t know, maybe it won’t be necessary. Maybe I’m just anxious about the last few weeks. But……Apex said she’ll give ’em to you if…..well, if…you know. But I wanted to tell you myself before I left. I guess you’ll have to talk to ‘melia if, well, about Olivia’s video. Because, well, she doesn’t know I’m her Da’ yet.”

“I really don’t want to go today, but we….I, owe Whitley a great deal of debt, even if she wasn’t my friend.”

“I love you.”