We’d made it to our villa after driving through a fast food place by early afternoon. At this point, I felt that whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” was a damn fool. Maybe it didn’t, not by itself, but it sure helped break the frozen ice that surrounded the happy place.
Given that Apex had Olivia, Amelia’s and, obviously, my measurements, it hadn’t been too hard to arrange for proper clothing to be delivered to the condo on the mountain. Clothing appropriate for snow at the beginning of winter. The place was stocked with food if we wanted it, ski clothes, coats, and everything else one could possibly need. I’d never been skiing before, well, not for a vacation, or snowboarding at all, so it was going to be a first in many ways for my whole family. Money made that easier, a lot easier.
Olivia rampaged through the rooms, before finding the closet that obviously had stuff in 
her size. Then she was out in the living area in less than ten minutes, as I brought up the rest of the luggage, with a breathless, “Are you ready yet? Let’s go.”
“I think your Mum is going to need a few more minutes to get ready before we go crash down the mountain.”
“Jeez, she takes forever……Wait, crash? Me, Crash? You’re joking right?
“Well, it takes time to figure out new things.”
“Phaaa, maybe for you old man! ‘m the Red Widow!” Which sounded a little incongruous with black pants, some sort of layered fluorescent green top and an unzipped purple coat. When I crooked an eyebrow, she looked down, “The clothes don’t matter, Dad. Geez. Get with it.”
Chuckling, which surprised myself, since I never chuckle, I said, “Make sure you have the helmet and goggles,” and when she started to argue, “You wear one when you race right?” I said in a tone that implied don’t push me.
With a sigh, she walked back into her bedroom, “When you’re done, you can check out the boards, they’re on the deck,” and then she was off again.
I smiled, then walked into the other bedroom to get my own shit together.
I’m not one to speak about how great things were, not really. I don’t know if I ever did, but other than with Shawna over the last couple years, most of my attitude, if I was honest, could be described as morose.
I’m sure that the rest of my friends, and my brothers especially, may not have recognized me over the next couple of days. Olivia had been right, she didn’t crash, at least not after the first hour. It was long after dark by the time we got back that first night, and 
since none of us really wanted to cook anything, we went down to 
the little village below, little being a relative term and found something to eat. I’m not sure who was more surprised, Olivia, Amelia, or me, when I insisted we ride in the horse drawn carriage contraption after dinner. I especially didn’t argue when they wanted to sit on either side of me. I mean, they liked the warmth my body exuded, but I didn’t care as I wrapped them both in my arms. Even when a layer of guilt pushed its way towards the surface, I pushed it back down. I knew everything I had to be guilty for, especially the woman lying in the coma, but I was determined to enjoy the first pure time with my daughter, away from everyone, and everything, else.
By the same time the second night, Amelia was limping slightly, she’d fallen hard on her hip trying to duplicate some crazy maneuver that Olivia had done. I’d crashed hard too, when I tried to push it even further, but, well, I had some advantages that the others didn’t have. So we ordered a pizza and just sat watching movies with the fireplace crackling away in the corner of the living room. I don’t even know what movies, nor do I care.
“So, are we snowboarding again or skiing tomorrow, we haven’t skied yet?” Oliva asked around massive bite of supreme pizza, or at least I am pretty sure that’s what she said before Amelia said, “Livy, manners!”
I smirked, but hid it behind taking a drink of soda, “Uhm, neither.”
“What? We have to leave already? We just got here!” She argued, quite loudly and without food in her mouth this time.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Come on, Ma…..Bre…..,” but with a look, “I mean Dad. What are we doing?”
“It’s top secret, you will just have to wait.”
“That’s bull……..I mean that’s not fair! You gotta tell me! Please, please, please!” This time it was Amelia who was laughing behind her food.
“No.”
It then became a battle of stubbornness, wheedling, whining, and begging. I have, however, been known to be quite stubborn on occasion.
“I can tell you, though, that it will be awesome, you’ll love it, and we have a full day tomorrow to do it, and we can even snowboard again the next morning before we have to leave.”
Ten minutes into the second movie, something I’d never seen called John Wick, Olivia fell asleep sprawled across the couch. With the violence of the movie blaring in the background, I felt as much at peace as my broken memory could remember for nearly twenty years.
I slept for almost seven hours that night, and if the nightmares roamed my mind, they were buried deep for once.
The morning dawned bright and clear, the air mountain air clean and crisp, as I sat on the deck, awaiting the wakening of my daughter, and her mother, a massive mug of tea resting on my bare chest as I reclined in some sort of chaise lounge watching the sun creep over the mountains. I’d already taken possession of the delivery of the small tracked vehicles for today’s excursion. Money…..facilitated comfort. I could get used to it, to using it for my family.
I could hear Amelia stirring, and her muttering about the cold as she brewed some coffee. Her scents mingled with the aromas of the coffee, even though the sliding door to the deck was barely cracked. I didn’t even need to be looking back into the kitchen to know when she started looking around for the draft, and I held up my mug, knowing that she would see the movement. Buried under the façade of motherhood still lurked the former special forces medic I had once known. I felt more than heard her walk into the bedroom he was using for the trip, heard her pull the comforter from the bed, and when she walked out onto the deck, I heard the altered length of her steps, as she slightly towards me.
“Fuck a bogan, Brett, were you just going to let us freeze to death?” Amelia said even as she sat gingerly down on the edge of the chaise lounge beside me. “Or you, out here with jeans and nothing else?”
“Feels good to me……and I thought the Momma Dingo might need some help tracking her prey after all these years,” although I smiled as I said it.
“You can be a real wanker sometimes, even if a bloody cheeky good looking wanker,” but her was smile shortened by an obvious twinge in pain.
I slid over so she could sit next to me, watching her try to hide whatever was causing the pain. “Let me see.”
“It’s nothing, I just landed wrong yesterday.”
I ignore her and push the blanket aside, trying to ignore the view which it revealed, the tanned skin and long legs, focusing on the massive bruise and rigid muscle that I could see spasming along the thigh.
“Nothing?” as I lean forward, sitting up and pushing her lightly to lean back.
“Damn it, Brett, its fucking cold out here.”
“Just try to relax,” I say as I reach out and slowly start to massage the leg above the knee.
“Fuck, that hurts,” she hisses, as I slowly kneed the muscles, working my way slowly up the leg, the super natural heat of my hands helping to warm the skin as I massage the damaged muscles.
“Why didn’t you stop yesterday?”
“That’s a stupid question, Brett. Let you and Olivia dance circles in the snow around me? Like I’m some old woman? Decrepit,” and I can hear just the slight tone of bitter frustration under her breath before I lean into kiss her, distracting her briefly before I dig into the knot I had felt in the on the upper thigh.
I may not have been distracting enough as she arches her back and moans, “Motherfucker,” spilling the coffee onto the desk.
“Mum? What are you two doing?” Olivia walks out onto the deck.
“What’s it look like Livy,” Amelia hisses.
“Ooooo, gross, stop that,” she half yells in disgust.
“What? It’s just a massage Olivia,” I say chuckling, “Look at this.”
“I don’t want to see that, you guys are gross, I can’t believe you are doing that on the deck.”
“Olivia Hannah, we are NOT doing anything.”
“Where do you think you came from Olivia,” I say through a deep laugh.
“Oooo, stop that, stop that, stop that….you guys are too old.”
“Too old…..too old,” Amelia sputters, “I’ll show you too old,” but as she moves to stand, the whole leg cramps, “Mother….” And I catch her before she crumples back.
“Mum, are you ok?” and the tone has changed immediately to concern, “What did you do to her?”
“Do to her, Olivia? She’s just stubborn and hurt herself on that fall yesterday.”
“What fall?”
“A little after lunch yesterday, but you were pretty far ahead of us,” I say as I slowly start to massage the spasming muscle again.
“We can stay here, Mum, today,” Olivia says, but the obvious desire to not stay inside underscores the offer.
“No, no, you guys go have fun, I’ll just relax and take a bath, and maybe I’ll make dinner for us all tonight.”
“Amelia,” I start to say, before she interrupts, “Livy, go get the ibuprofen out of my purse, and get me another cup of coffee.” For once, our daughter doesn’t argue, and disappears back inside.
“I’m not stopping you two from going. I’ll be fine. It’ll be perfect for you two to spend time together.”
“Are you sure?”
“Jesus, sometimes you are dense, yes, I’m sure.”
When Olivia returns, with the coffee and pain relievers, “Where are they Brett?”
“Where are what?” Livy asks.
“Go look, down the side steps over there,” and I nod in their direction.
She scampers down the stairs, before he notices that she doesn’t have any shoes on, and then “What, no way? Really? Ripper!” She runs back up the stairs, “Can we go, Dad?”
“Yes, Yes, we can go, let’s make breakfast and some snacks to take.”
An hour later, I handed Olivia a helmet with a mic boom sticking out of it. “What’s this?”
“What, you don’t wear a helmet when you ride?”
“Yea, but….”
“This way we can talk and keep track of one another on these trails, just in case we get separated, although you better make sure you stay with me.”
“Whatever you say, Br…..Dad.”
We spent the whole day rampaging through the various trails, stopping occasionally to admire a great view of the lake, or a mountain, or just to catch our breath and have a snack, especially several Tim Tams, or a cup of hot chocolate form the thermoses we had brought with us.
The sun was on its rapid descent before we got back to the town home, parking the snowmobiles right next to the third one still sitting there, unused, covered in a tarp.
“Help me with these, please, Olivia,” as I started to unfold the other tarps, but she just stood there for a few moments looking at me, her helmet in her hands.
“Olivia,” I ask?
She moves to grab the tarp and helps me cover the two snowmobiles.
“Did you have fun today?” but she just nods, keeping her face away from me. “Olivia, is something wrong?”
“No…..Dad. Uhm, can you……” and she takes a deep breath, “can you call me Livy?” and then she scampers up the stairs of the deck, leaving me standing there, stunned into silence and stillness.
When I got back upstairs after tying the tarps over the snowmobiles, the smells of….home…..struck like a bullet to the chest. I could pick out what had to be meat pies, some with sausage, some with beef, and at least one kind of fish. Overlaying that was the smell of peas and ham, and much more.
I walked into the living room, and see her limping around the kitchen, the table set for three, and more food than, well, maybe even more food than even I could eat.
“I thought you were going to rest today.”
“What, and pass up the chance to cook a birthday dinner, even if it’s a day early? Although I couldn’t find a lamb to have, she loves meat pies, like you, and there were plenty of prawns to be had for an appetizer.”
“Where’s Olivia?”
“I sent her to the shower in her room. She didn’t even argue for once.”
I walk into the kitchen, grabbing a roll and popping it into my mouth, swallowing quickly, before grabbing her from behind, “Smells a lot better than I remember.”
“Well, we….” She pauses, “Your Mum taught me some things to when we would visit.” She relaxes back into my arms briefly, before saying, “Now that you are hear, you can finish getting stuff ready, after you shower of course. You stink too. Did you guys have fun?”
“Yes,” and I hesitate for a long moment, long enough that she starts to turn, looking up at me, “But?”
“She told me to outside to call her Livy.”
Amelia smiles, “See, I told you.”
“Told me what.”
“That she doesn’t despise you.”
“Yea, but you said she needs to get to know me. This isn’t me. This is just money and….”
“Brett, but it was your ides. Quit worrying all the time.” She lifts up on her right foot, kissing me lightly on the lips. “Now, go shower. Dinner is ready.”
We ate, and ate, and I ate some more. That night, Livy didn’t even make it through the first movie, and after I carried her to the room she had been sharing with her Mum, and maybe a couple bottles of wine, and then I carried Amelia to my room and we commemorated the day of our daughter’s birth by trying to see if we could duplicate the event, or at least the fun parts.
“Are you sure you want to be over here if she wakes up?” I ask after, as she’s about to drift off to sleep.
“Yes…I’m positive, now go to sleep.”
I don’t know if Livy woke up or not, because I slept yet again for several hours, and, when I awoke, I moved Amelia back into the room with our daughter, just in case. She woke as I did, but she didn’t complain, just looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes, and I smiled down at her before letting her go back to sleep near the daughter she had raised essentially by herself.
Instead of sitting on the desk, lost in thought, I got the gifts we had bought, and stacked them on the coffee table in the living room, before making some tea, and then making sure we had stuff to make breakfast. I wasn’t much of a cook, but I could make a mean omelette. Reheating meat pies wasn’t exactly difficult either. I waited another thirty minutes, before I went in and woke them up.
“You know, if we’re going back on the slopes for the morning, you need to get your asses out of bed.”
Grunts or moans were what I got in return……
“Let’s go…..these gifts aren’t going to open themselves.”
“Wha…..?
“Well, Happy Birthday baby! Now get your ass out of bed,” although I smiled as I said it.
We ate first, although she ate almost as quickly as I do, if far less.
“Come one, can we open them?”
“Well, we probably should do the dishes first….”
“Mum….., come on!”
She plowed through the gifts after we say down, all of which, while I knew what they were, came from my former fiance’s knowledge of our daughter instead of mine. To be honest, the trip did too, even If I thought of it.
“Thanks Mum,” Livy said after the last one, “and, thanks Dad. Can we go snowboarding again?”
“Sure, but I think we’re missing one.”
“No, that’s all of them Brett,” Amelia says.
“Nope, pretty sure I saw one other, just a second,” and I get up, going into my room, and re-appearing with a rectangular gift, and Amelia just looks at me with a questioning look on her face.
“Here, Happy Birthday…Livy.”
When she saw the T-shirt with the band name on it, her response was a basic, “Cool,” and she missed the envelope that dropped out, but her Mum doesn’t. “Livy, there’s another part,” and she picks it up from the floor.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Just open it.”
The look of surprise when she opened the envelope was priceless, and something I know I will treasure the rest of my life. Staring back at her were front row seats for the concert tomorrow night, for her favorite band Innocence of Riddles, along with back stage passes.
“Wow…..,” she breathes, “thanks Mum.”
“This one was all your Dad, noodle, I thought the concert was sold out.”
If I had been setting on the couch with her, I think I might have gotten more than a shocked look and a “Thanks, Dad.” But I wasn’t, so I had to settle for the thanks, and the weekend.
Her excitement though. That carried all through the slopes the rest of the morning, and long into the drive home, which meant that she saw, and chattered about the sights of this part of the country until after dark, until long after we had stopped for dinner and continued our drive home.
They both fell asleep shortly before midnight, and even after we ditched the rental and climbed into the speedboat to return to Tempest Point.
Although limping, Amelia grabbed most of the gifts, and I had arranged for most of the new gear to be shipped anyway, so I picked up my daughter, since she refused to wake up.
I was….happy, content in many ways. Full of joy perhaps.
Maybe that’s why I didn’t notice. Maybe that’s how come I was taken by surprise. But, can you ever really be anything but surprised when you are betrayed by a friend?
Last Dreams 