Port Hedland, Australia, Approximately Sixteen Years Ago
It had been six months since she’d said yes, but he was leaving for Timor the next day. He’d wanted to get married before he left, but she’d argued that she wanted to be out of the army first, so, one last celebration before he left, a short amount of leave to work on the small house they’d bought in Port Hedland. They hardly had any time together here, and he wasn’t really sure about having a home near his family, but…..well Bryce had his first race of the season yesterday, and he’d promised he’d come since he was going to miss the rest of the season. As much as he didn’t want to be anyhwere near his Dad with Amelia, they’d come.
He’d put his package in for the experimental unit right before he’d proposed, and after a bunch of additional evals, he hadn’t heard anything.
Johnson’s Grill wasn’t anything fancy, but he wanted to celebrate, besides he was tired of his parents after the race, so they’d worked on the bungalow all day, well, part of the day. The 2nd Commando had an opening, although everyone said Captain Hayford was a tyrant, but they were based at Holwsorthy outside Sydney. There were also openings for staff sergeants for the engineers at Steele, basic training command at Wagga Wagga, and an armory staff at Forces Command. He preferred the 2nd Commando since he hadn’t heard from the experimental command and supposedly they were to be notified three weeks ago, but he was damned good at demo and the training and force command could use someone who wasn’t a professional staff wanker. He’d spoken to Captain Stafford before taking leave. He’d endorsed his submissions to all four. He loved the SASR, and with all fucking due respect to his unit, he was the fucking best scout in the Army, and at least 2nd Commando would still be special forces. He loved Amelia more, so…..and it was still the army. More importantly they were all on the other fucking side of the country from Port Hedland, even further from Port Hedland than Perth and Cambpell Barracks.
After he told her they’d had too much to drink, and he may have gotten a bit rowdy at the Voyage Arcade, but there was no cause for that whinging manager to throw their ass out and threaten to call the coppers on them. He knew it was just because he was an Anderson, because he recognized the fucker.
It was storming of course, right down pour by the time they got to his Camaro. In hindsight, maybe he owed that feral bush pig of a manager……
After the first time, two arcade tokens fell out of his jeans pocket onto the console.
“Seems like a hint,” he smirked when he said it.
“More of a challenge, I’d say, given the day we’ve already had,” she smiled when she said it. He loved her smile, every version of her smile.
This time they took their time. They even got all the clothes off too, starting with her soaked dress.
He was happy for three weeks before she called and betrayed him. He received his new orders to the experimental unit two days later. In those forty-eight hours, she never answered one of the phone calls he was able to make.
Almost Six Years Ago
The Alliance needed him to move on. They were all adapting, and he needed to focus on this if he was going to be an asset to the team. He didn’t know Henri that well, not really, not yet. Her alternate self was a badass of course, but Henri seemed to know everything. She acted that way too, but she was nice about it. She’d said she’d help him research with Apex. He’d been afraid to look for his team in the two years since they’d helped him get Bryce out. They’d disappeared, and were supposed to go back to their normal duties.
He wasn’t even shocked at what they found. Or so he told himself. He’d left them to fend for themselves, while he’d got Bryce out, while he’d hid them, while they floated from country to country every time Bryce couldn’t contain himself and used his powers to help someone. He’d hid them from the army, from Mum, from everyone that could possibly lead back to the ones who’d killed Bryan and Bridgette.
“Says Sergeant Amelia Taylor, special forces medic, was killed in action attempting to save civilians from a terrorist attack in Sydney. Leaves behind husband Dryse Taylor, also a member of the Australian army and two daughters, Olivia and Courtney.” She typed, “Oh, there’s a picture.” She hit a key and the picture blossomed onto the massive screen of the old warehouse that he turned into a base in the heart of Crosswook.
“Those poor kids.” She turned at the crack of sharp crack of plastic. “Brett?“
“Nothing, Henri.” His pale face twisted in a ricture of a smile. “Just wondering if there’s anything I can do for all the kids of my friends. Ya know, scholarships, something anonymous.”
“Yes, you said that.” Her eyes narrowed. Her keys flew over the keyboard, “Apex, run facial recognition and comparative analytics with these three pictures, combine exhibit one with the aging software developed by the Finn Institute for missing children investigations.”
“Henri, what are you….”
“Results compiled Dr. George.”
“Display on primary screen.”
The series of now four photos popped into existence. “Probability of familial match, Apex.”
“Using facial reconstruction techniques combined with image reconstruction algorithm, probability of familial match is ninety-two percent.”
She gasped and turned to look at the man standing to her side. “Brett, the statistical probability….”
“I know who she is Henri. Her mother made her choice nine years ago.” He sighed and she watched in fascination as the mask of disinterest rolled over his face. “I’ll make sure she’s provided for, just like I’ll make sure the other children are provided for in some way. They are all the family of my family.” He turned to walk away, then paused. “I would appreciate it if you would keep my personal life…..between us. It has no impact on Alliance business.”
“I…..”
“Besides, aren’t you supposed to be coordinating with Apex on researching who all these clown soldiers are, if possible?”
“Well, yes, but…..”
“I’m sorry to have interrupted you. We need to see if we can stop the next terrorist attack, and there is work to be done at the Paragon Center, and plenty of other activities that are here in the United States and not in Australia. A soldier’s duty is never done, Henri, even in death.” He smiled, sort of. “Those girls have suffered enough trauma. They are with their father,” and he waved at the original photograph. “Whatever I may have wanted didn’t matter for the last nine years, it certainly doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes, but,” before he interrupted again.
“You’re a good person Henri, and a good friend to my brother. The Alliance needs you, both as Henri and as Rook. Everybody likes you. I, on the other hand, am, in the eyes of the world, and especially the military, a deserter, a traitor, a murderer, and too many other things to name and that doesn’t even address……” he pauses, “the point being, she’s in a stable home, with her father, and her sister. I have nothing I can provide her. Making a big deal of this will only complicate things. I have what I needed. I will figure out a way to provide additional benefits to the families of my teammates, my friends. I thank you for your help. No additional help is required.“
He walked out of the combined war room/research center and strode down down the walkway, heading towards the rec room and bar, and distracted, he walked right into the path of the dart she had, drunkenly, winged vaguely in the direction of the dart board, which proceeded to embed itself in his chest as he turned into it.
“Shit, watch where the fuck you’re walking soldier boy!” Only the S’s were slurred.
He turned and walked towards where she was sitting half-assed on a stool at the bar. He was actually a bit surprised, she usually drank a lot, smoked weed too, but rarely too the point that she was slurring her words. But she’d been weird ever since the last party on Titan’s yacht, and he’d missed her ranting about music, and guitars, well, mainly music and something about Green Day selling out, but that had been years ago, so he wasn’t really sure, and usually didn’t pay too much attention to the particular topic. She talked, and he grunted and it was just nice to not be alone all the time.
He grabbed the nearly full whiskey bottle in front of the green-haired girl, and then, “I’ll take this in payment,” and swallowed three quarters of the liter bottle, and then poured a full tumbler for her.
“Lay it on me, Gleam. Who’s the sellout now?“
He listened, enough to ask a couple questions, and to get more drinks, and let his thoughts wonder about what he had to offer, because somehow he needed to find enough money to provide for his daughter, and the rest of the team’s dependents. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t, ask anybody on the team for help.
They drank for hours. She knew an amazing amount of information about music for a street punk. Besides, she was as old as he was when he joined the fucking army, and look where that got him. Probably knew more than he obviously did back then.
He ignored his conscience, which argued continuously since they got here that it was a mistake to become friends with any of these people. They weren’t like him. They weren’t soldiers. They didn’t really understand sacrifice and loss, just spoiled rich kids who thought rules didn’t apply to them.
Except for Shawna. She seemed to understand what it felt like to be expendable. So she talked, and he listened, and they drank, and drank. Every day, even when he was working on the base they drank, and she talked, although sometimes she just played the guitar. Some of it was pretty good. Some of it was stupid shit, but it didn’t matter. Part of him said he should be alone and this wouldn’t last. Part of him enjoyed the company, even if half the time he didn’t know who she was talking about or who they were listening to on her iPhone.
Of course the clowns took her two months later.
Eighteen Months Ago, July
He sat in the armory, staring at the open safe, the small one with the old fashioned spin dial, sitting on his workbench. It wouldn’t keep anybody here out for long, he just liked it. In another month, they were supposed to be going back to Florida She liked the clubs in Tampa and Miami, and he liked the beaches in Florida. He smiled in memory at the massive sunburn she’d gotten last year as they fucked across the state, at every semi-private location they could find. Something about the black bikinis he’d talked her into, even when she covered them with other clothes, and the pale skin. Besides, they fucked in the clubs too, a few times, or near enough did anyway. He’d never expected to fall in love with someone quite so…..loud.
The smile didn’t last too long. They’d fought before but this had been different. He hadn’t intentionally hid from the topic the last few years, it just hadn’t really come up. He didn’t ask about her…..lack of experience and she didn’t really ask about his past, everybody knew about Bridgette and Mum and Dad, and nobody really knew about her family, although he knew some. Enough to want to…..he sighed.
But……Anubis was back, and they were on his tail, or he was on theirs. All very confusing, and he really didn’t understand how Whitley’s magic and coven fit into it. It didn’t matter.
He’d felt ready. Stable. More stable anyway. Shawna……helped him heal. And, he was afraid. He’d healed enough to be afraid. Not for himself, not really, he was a soldier, and the team was good, but Anubis had defeated them before. And everything was so much more dangerous than they had fought before. He still didn’t want to even bring her back, or tell her anything, but he wanted to at least see Olivia. It had been years, and yes the reports and pictures he got from Jacob indicated she appeared to be doing great. He just wanted to see her, so he brought it up to the team. That he wanted to go.
He just assumed Henri had told her before this. She couldn’t keep a secret, ever. He should have told her. He didn’t know why he didn’t. He’d been going to but…..just had never seemed like the right time. His conscience of course told him he was just a coward. Tried to swarm him with guilt about abandoning Olivia, and his Mum.
He grimaced.
But…..they’d made up on the way to Scotland, and in Scotland more than made up. She’d told him they should go, that he’d be a good father. He hoped that meant she wanted to be a mother, parents with him, of course. Then the Shadow attacked her anyway, and broken her arm, and…..inside he’d been afraid that it had been him. That he’d done it during his dreams.
He thought they were good though. They’d come back to the base. Henri of course had healed Shawna in Scotland right after, but…..he felt guilty. They probably needed to talk about kids in a little more detail before the next step of course. He sighed. Olivia first. Then…..
The alarms sounded throughout the base and the comms.
“China, we need to go to China.”
He sighed. They had time. Even if they couldn’t go to Florida next month, a small delay wouldn’t hurt. There was plenty of time. He wasn’t aging. He could wait for her to be sure. They just needed to talk more.
She slid to a stop at the door, opening a portal to Alliance II, “Promise to bite me later?“
“Always.”
He smiled, shutting the safe, locking the contents inside until it was time.
He jumped up, and as she turned to go, he pulled her back, spinning her into his arms, the kiss initially freezing her for just a second until she melted into it, and him. He never, ever, made the first move, outside of the bedroom.
A few days later, she was gone.
A Few Weeks Ago…….
Paragon Center, Office of Dr. Evrett Downs
He’d called down to the office when he’d been on his way, but he hated the fact of anybody seeing him sitting or standing here, so…….they didn’t. He knew the blind spots of the cameras, the security system, and he found one, and then just blended into the background drinking a cup of coffee with just the barest hint of whiskey in it. For the most part he’d stopped, and he didn’t drink a lot, and he knew that it didn’t really help, especially when he came down here for his weekly, and sometimes twice weekly, sessions. Whiskey hadn’t really been his thing until…..well, it didn’t matter who he’d drank that with, it was clear she had no interest……
“I can’t change the past and won’t sacrifice time in the present focusing on it. The time is now.”
Normally Amelia would be with him but she’d made Livy go shopping, and then they were meeting for wings and beer for the Force game tonight, so he’d moved his appointment to later in the day. Usually Downs was ready early for him, but not this time, but then he heard the click of the door and the scents rolled out, freezing him, before he heard the sarcastic comment and half laugh, and then she walked out.
He watched as she glided across the room, a small smile on her lips, head high, stride powerful, confident. He hadn’t been thinking what day it was when he made the appointment. He wanted so much to just say hi, to have a short conversation. Spying on her, watching the security videos here and at home to try to figure out if she was…..he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help having at least that much contact with her. She’d told him to stay away, and no matter how much he’d ran by Henri’s at first to check on her, and how much he hissed at her pain, how often he walked by her suite at the base just to taste her scent, how crazy it made him when she came home smelling of……others, she’d asked him to stay away, and when he’d asked all of the others for advice, it all came back to leaving her alone, that you can’t love two people, that he was bad for her and to give her space. So he did…..and as he watched her leave, he smiled when she smiled. She seemed to be doing better. Maybe that meant he could finally be near her again. Maybe it didn’t, but how could he even try if he wasn’t allowed to be near her. What if……
He shook his his, and said, “I can’t change the past and won’t sacrifice time in the present focusing on it. The time is now.” He loved her so much, but she deserved better than him, no matter what he wanted, no matter what he dreamed of, and if she was happy without him, then he’d have to learn to live with it. Maybe he would, one day.
“I can’t change the past and won’t sacrifice time in the present focusing on it. The time is now.”
So he slugged the rest of the Irish coffee, and walked into the office.
A Few Days Before Halloween
Paragon Center, Office of Dr. Everitt Downs
“So, you’ve decided then? I’ll be honest, Brett, I am surprised.”
Shocked, Brett’s small smile faded into stone, “Why, you think I’m making a mistake?”
Downs smiled, “Of course that’s not what I am saying Brett, I’m surprised you decided to share the decision with me. In advance. Our sessions are not always what could be called open, honest, and productive sessions.”
Some of the defensive tension rolled away as he shrugged his shoulders, “I thought our more recent sessions had…..been better. Besides, its a pretty big step. I figured I should tell my mandated therapist, even if said therapist makes my skin crawl,” although the insult was made without heat, more like a repetitive comfortable phrase.
“So, then, when’s the big event? I’m assuming you already have the ring.”
“Of course I have the ring, I ordered it from this custom jeweler in Taos a few months ago.”
“So….you have the ring, and a plan I am assuming?”
“Yes, this time next week, you can congratulate me. Halloween would be too cheesy of course, and there’s no way to get away from the team parties, plus Livy would be with us. But…..the night after Halloween, November 1st. It took me a while to find it, but there is a cabin on Point Loma…..at night you can see the sunset over the Pacific, and in the morning you can walk down to the beach and see the sun rise over the Lagunas Mountains and over the bay.” His eyes, often a cloudy blue with hints of green, a sign of his shifting nature, cleared to a piercing blue, the formal posture of his shoulders relaxed just a hint, still straight but softer as he thought of the day he hoped would occur.
“Time to move forward, eh, Doc? I can’t change the past and won’t sacrifice time in the present focusing on it. The time is now.”
Last Night, Tempest Point
His skin itched. It was starting to flake off, like it always did, although there never seemed to be a pattern to it. Once, he’d thought it was spring and fall, to signify the changing of the seasons, but it was really more erratic than that and he now had begun to think it was based on the number of wounds he had taken, but that really didn’t make sense either because when the wounds healed, that damaged tissue eventually sloughed off.
He gone to the armory, but even that former place of solitude offered no comfort. The old safe with the spin dial on his desk mocked him when he opened it, the first of November and Point Loma a few days gone, and the ring box back in the safe, returned from the overnight bacg it had been in, where it had sat safe from snooping since of course Alliance affairs had blown the day after Halloween all to hell and gone yet again. He didn’t understand it. It seemed like every time he tried to move forward with his life, the Alliance knocked it to fucking shit. And the team……they didn’t trust him. Obviously. Too erratic, too emotional, too violent, too whatever fucking excuse they had to hide the facts of his own family from him. He knew Brant had been lying to him, or at least hiding the truth from him, he didn’t know they all had been. Why was he even here if they were going to do that to him? Only Shawna had stood up for him, but has he thought about it she didn’t seem surprised…..so maybe she’d been in on it to? Obviously Whitley didn’t trust him, Bryce either, nor given the comments about security had Titan. All a facade. Fake, lies. Trust, hah, trust, what trust? He had trusted them all, tried to talk to them about……at some point or another. That had been a mistake obviously. All of them telling him how to be a parent, to stay away from Shawna, to……if they didn’t trust him to tell him information about his daughter, how could he trust them about anything. What else were they hiding from him?
Habit took him by Shawna’s room, because it was the closer route and he was tired of going the long way just to prove some arbitrary point, plus he just needed to be closer to her scent after the blowup on James. She’d protected him again, and then stuck one knife deeper in. It was the most she’d said to him, or about him, at least in his hearing, since the Mind Prison.
He stopped in front of her sealed door. Was today an invitation? Or was the comment about friends the final death knell. He raised his hand……she’d told him….damn it, it was all jumbled up with everything else from the day. He couldn’t risk being wrong, he’d waited this long, maybe in the morning they could talk, alone, without an audience, for once……..maybe…..in that moment he hated himself, once again, how could a person be so completely in love with two different people. They both deserved far better than him, why was he going to bother her with it again. Torn, indecisive, afraid, cowering in the corridor, unwilling to even knock on her damn door. She deserved to know right? Or did she? Did she already know and just…..didn’t care.
He sighed, breathing the scent around her door deeply one final time, and then walked to the suite that he shared with the rest of his family.
“Best waves tomorrow are goin’ ta be a’ dawn,” and his rural Australian accent appeared as if by magic, like it always did in their suite of rooms. “Ya actually goin’ to bed early enough ta be up in time?”
“Bloody oath, Da. Mum too?”
He could hear her standing outside the door, even with Livy’s eclectic taste in music filling the room.
“Guess we’ll have to see if I wear her out later,” laughing at his daughter’s squawk of outrage.
“Don’t ya two ever stop copping a root?”
“Making up for lost time kiddo.” He smiled as he said it, even as he could feel the melancholy settle into his shoulders.
“Get outta here Da, so Mum can stop hoverin’ outside.”
“She’s not very silent is she?” and he leaned over and kissed his daughter on the forehead.
“Love ya, kiddo, I’ll get ya up at five so we can be there before dawn.”
He stood up and turned to go, grasping Amelia’s fingers briefly as she came through the door, and if the murmured, “Love ya too, Da,” wasn’t very loud, well, he had supernatural hearing, so it was good enough.
Of course, 5 AM didn’t come soon enough, and by then, major chunks of the base lay in rubble, and the sands shifted under his feet again.
Last Dreams 