“It’s goi’ ta be mistake. Ya shou’d wait, cher’.”
“I told ya cher’. Now we down our leader for doin’ sometin’ stupid.”
He groaned as his body stirred in the dream.
“I didn’t want to say something in front of everyone but…..you should have waited Lukas.” Shock shuddered through him. SHE thought he’d made a mistake. “I had to try. It was Ethan.” Her touch muted the pain so he could think. “It’s worse though. Nothing else is healing either.”
The pain spiked as he tried to curl around her automatically in his sleep, and subconsciously he moved back away from her, his long arm curled over her. Groans escaped his exhausted frame. Her hand grabbed his, and the pain mellowed. From excruciating to jarring. Sleep claimed him again.
“My baby . . . so much pain.“
“Mamo?” the light polish accent rolled out of his mouth, matching the much thicker of his mother’s when emotions overcame her.
“So much pain . . . and so little. You think this hurts? I can not believe your father raised such a . . . Cienias . . . a weak pussy.” A hiss of angry pain and then he could somehow see the tumors growing in her blood, in her bones. “You even have your hussy slut girlfriend covering your pain and still you whine in your sleep like a little dupek.
Anger and rage boiled in him, “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT, MAMO! At least she’s here with me…..she didn’t abandon me.”
“Co tu tak śmierdzi? Nothing stinks so bad as a desperate boy afraid of losing his toy.“
His bellow of rage turned into a groan as Allison woke him gently, a brush of her lips against his ear. “Mick’s here.’
“We don’t know what else it might be suppressing.”
“Let’s find out. Breakfast and then everybody in the Gridiron. Thirty minutes. Not a second more.”
That had been a bit over five minutes ago, five minutes that he’d spent in his room in front of the sink in mirror, using a washcloth to give himself as much of a spongebath with warm water and soap as he could. The wounds stank so much he didn’t know how Chayton had stayed in the same room with him. Hopefully though he had at least gotten most of the sweat, grime and sewage (and yes sex) from the previous thirty six hours off of him.
He raised his arm, pain piercing his back as the skin moved with the muscles, grimacing to knock. He hoped she hadn’t already headed down. He could feel the blood, but it seemed like only blood, not pus, not infection, not scabs (unfortunately), leaking and starting to soak into the white t-shirt he had donned to keep the wounds from hopefully soaking his uniform.
“Its open.” Just hearing her voice calmed him. He was afraid of how much he had come to need her already. Even before . . . and he smiled in memory. He was already smiling when she opened the door, uniform half on, sports bra visible under the unzipped top of her uniform. The ghost of a smile lit her lips, but didn’t touch her shadowed eyes as she pulled him into the room, out of the hall standing in his extremely tight boxer briefs, his uniform bundled under an arm.
“I don’t think you can do what your eyes are suggesting,” but the smile widenend as she kissed him lightly on the lips, leaning into his body.
“Would definitely be worth the pain.” Although it was said with a grimace as he braced his back as she rested against him.
When she looked up into his eyes, her face was a mix of “I told you so,” worry, and exhaustion. She started to move, but he he pulled her tight, just holding onto her for almost a minute, and after a few seconds she relaxed again into him.
“Lukas, we only have a few minutes,” her voice muffled against his chest, but he was relieved when she made no effort to move.
“I know. I…..” he paused, “I needed to…..” A sigh. “I needed to explain.” At that she pulled away from him, crossing her arms, a look he couldn’t recognize in her eyes. Fear maybe? Why would she be afraid of him of all people? Maybe he was reading too much into it.
He wanted to tell her. He needed to tell her. He’d walked into the room to tell her because he needed her to understand why he’d been compelled to at least try to heal Ethan, how when he’d failed to heal her, even if in a nightmare that it triggered something within him. A fear….of losing someone he loved again and so he’d redirected that energy to someone else and when he’d done it, pushed through the resistance, the rush . . .before the terror of the realization that he wasn’t healing and the pain, oh the pain.
But the shadows under her eyes, almost as bad as his own . . . wait, the shadows under her eyes? His eyes widened . . . . “I . . . wanted to . . . I’m sorry if I kept you up last night. It had to be hard . . . anyway, thank you for helping me sleep. It means a lot to me.”
For a moment, she didn’t answer, and then she started to say . . .and then they both jumped a bit at a knock at the door before it cracked and Waverly stuck her head in, “Oh, my. Well, you two don’t want to be late, get a move on.” Her normal cheery self at least somewhat restored from last night.
“Will be right out Wave,” he said. The momentary surge of satisfaction that rushed through him almost caused him to tell Allison what he came for, but as Wave shut the door and he turned around, she had finised closing up her uniform, so he said instead, “Can I ask another favor?”
At her nod, “Can you help me into this damn thing?”
As the elevator lowered towards the gridiron, he held her hand, even as the movement caused him to feel the blood leak further out of the wounds. He didn’t care the cost, he pulled her to him, bending over her smaller frame and kissed her briefly. Be damned the wounds, blood and pain. Her taste, the scent of her honey shampoo. She was still here with him. He hadn’t fucked that up yet. Not yet. At least she kissed him back, that was good right?
As the elevator dinged he stepped back, he settled into his role. “Affinity?’
“Voltaic?” amusement soaked the query.
“Trust me, I don’t want to do this, but if its going to be a real test, I need you to stop screening me from the pain, please.”
“Are you sure?”
“No, but I need to find out.”
“Done,” and she stepped out of the elevator, and he focused on her ass instead of the wave of pain settling into him.
Last Dreams 